Whether you are leaving MSB, Beijing, China a RAFT can keep you afloat and make sure you Arrive Well and ready to embrace your new school, city, country.
The author Pollock, suggests four steps that make up the acronym RAFT. They are: reconciliation, affirmation, farewell, and think destination.
Reconciliation is the first step in building a RAFT. It is important to leave in peace, that when we leave in peace we can begin in peace. By contrast, when we leave with unresolved conflict we carry that with us to the next place we go to. It is important to not have any regrets as they tend to follow you wherever you go.
Affirmation moves us into acknowledging and letting those we have come to care deeply for, those who have become our friends know how much we love and will miss them. Affirmation is about talking to a teacher and saying “Thank you! Thank you for your role in my child’s development”.
Farewells –Celebrate the goodbyes. Those goodbyes are critically important. We grieve as we say goodbye because we are losing places and people that we have come to care deeply for. It’s saying goodbye to permanence and the relationships as we know them. It de-stabilizes us for a time. Relationships will change, they have to change. “The global transnational family has developed an amazing capacity to adapt, to move forward, but sometimes we need to just stop where we are and honor that moment”.
Think Destination. We think of destination as we sort and pack up and begin establishing connections in our new school, city, and country. We Think Destination as we send out emails and WeChat messages asking people for advice on schools, housing, language, and culture. The first edition of Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, by Pollock, taught me the acronym RAFT.
Intuitively I think many of us know this, RAFT, we know that sturdy RAFT is critical to take us over the sometimes calm, sometimes rocky, always unpredictable waters of ‘transition’. But to see it in print, gives many of us a lifeline to draw from, a method to keep us afloat in the spirit of leaving without regret or “I wish I had” feelings that too often stay unresolved and impact our happiness in our new destination.
How about you? Are you familiar with the acronym RAFT? Are you in the middle of a significant move? How can thinking about RAFT help you transition?
Parents I hope you have enjoyed this article on RAFT. Also please use the booklet “Moving On” by the MSB school counselor, which you can choose to print out or work directly on the computer and input the responses with your child to support them through this time. They do not have to return this “Moving On” booklet it is to stimulate important family discussion, explore natural mixed feelings and help prepare to say goodbye.
Help them,” Leave Well to Arrive Well”, wherever you may be going, even if it is to another school in Beijing or a bigger move leaving your home and setting up somewhere else.
I often think you can tell a lot about a school when it cares for you and your family as much when you leave as it does when you arrive.
MSB will miss you. Be safe, forever in our hearts.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you or your child need support through this transition time.